When I realised my maternity leave would be ending soon, I would have to return to work, I found myself feeling lost and hopeless. How could I go back?
This time it just felt so different; wrong, somehow.
There were days I would feel like I was in the midst of an anxiety attack for hours on end, I’d be so full of dread at the thought of returning to work that I’d have this urge to act because I didn’t have enough time, except there was no action to take, spiralling me deeper into my internal panic.
It was at this time that I realised I was meant to blog. I felt as though I’d finally found my calling, I finally knew what I needed to do with my life! And now that dream was being threatened, because how could I blog if I had to work? Where would I find the time?
I was terrified of becoming stuck in a never-ending cycle; if I couldn’t put in the time I needed to build an income from blogging, I couldn’t quit work, if I couldn’t quite work, I’d never be able to put in the time etc.
I must have rewritten our budget a hundred times, hoping I’d find some secret source of income I’d missed, allowing us to afford for me to stay home.
I spent hours searching the internet for viable ‘side hussles’ to keep us afloat. Repeatedly I found that the websites offering surveys for money, somehow never had ones that matched my demographic. The freelance writing sites I checked out were all the ‘you need experience before you can write for us, you need to write for us to get the experience’ kinda dead end.
I even briefly considered and attempted transcribing audio clips. *shudder*
In the end I was forced to accept the unfortunate truth. I had no choice financially but to return to work.
So I said ‘screw it’ and started my blog anyway. View Full Post